I hate everything.  I hate that fact that I still haven’t told my family or friends about it. Actually no - that’s a lie. I tried once, and all I got was “You’re making it up, Rach”. I still remember how that felt, having my own brother telling me that I’m delusional on top of everything else I’m going through. I don’t even get any help when i try to cry out, it makes me so upset, it’s as if no one cares. The only person who actually knows is my tutor at school, I was so scared, I remember telling myself that I had to tell her and I just burst into tears and she was so nice about it, she really did make my day, actually no she made my week, and I try to remind myself of it all the time, but it’s hard when that’s all I have to go on. And that makes me more angry -  that someone who barely knows me will offer me help but the people who are supposed to love me and look out for me, turn me away when I need help, but I haven’t talked to my tutor about it in over a year now. I won’t try and tell anyone else. It’s okay, just brush it off, it’s not like I matter. Aren’t you supposed to care!? People don’t understand unless they feel like this too. Sometimes i’m not surprised I am the way I am when I am surrounded by negative energy, i get so angry and sad all the time, I don’t know what else I can do.. I just hate it. I feel pretty alone today.

I hope I don’t sound bitter, it’s not what I intended.